Have you ever had a promise spoken over your life that you expected would have happened by now?
Well, having recently turned 50, I’ve found myself pondering a few things!
There are all these general social norms of achievement expected by society, aren’t there? Marriage, children, grandchildren, a successful career, a thriving business. The list goes on.
Grandchildren? What the heck? I was late getting married, let alone having grandchildren!
And what else? I thought I’d have a successful business by now, at least by the world’s standards.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? By whose standards should we be measuring our lives?
I seriously thought at 21 that 50 was ancient and that by now I’d be married, with children and grandchildren, or at the very least a fully fledged author living in a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, overlooking the beautiful city, in some kind of romantic Danielle Steel movie.
Well, that clearly hasn’t happened, but we can dream!
The years have taught me a few things, and one of them is how easily we compare ourselves with other people.
We look at what someone else has achieved and suddenly feel like we’ve fallen behind. Or, if we’re doing a little better than someone else, we can become rather pleased with ourselves.
Neither is particularly helpful, is it?
But perhaps the question isn’t simply whether we’re comparing ourselves. Perhaps it’s what we’re measuring our lives against in the first place.
Rather than looking at what everyone else has achieved, what if we started looking at what God has spoken? What He’s already done, what He’s promised and what we’re still waiting to see?
What if, instead of measuring our lives against the world’s expectations, we began weighing up our circumstances in light of His Word?
And that brings me to someone who knew a thing or two about having a promise spoken over her life.
Mary.
Mary and that little word ‘pondered’
Luke 2:19 (NKJV) tells us:
“But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
Now, I wonder how many of us have read that verse and just carried on to the next one without giving it another thought.
I know I could have!
But that word pondered is rather interesting.
In the original Greek, the word is symballousa, from symballō (Strong’s G4820). It carries the meaning of bringing things together in the mind, considering them and weighing them up.
Matthew Henry, in his commentary on Luke 2:19, explains how Mary kept these things in her heart so she could consider them alongside what God would reveal later.
So Mary wasn’t necessarily just remembering what she’d heard. She was holding these things in her heart, considering what had happened and what they might mean.
And that got me thinking.
What exactly was Mary pondering?
Well, let’s go back to where it all started.
Mary was visited by the angel Gabriel, who told her she would give birth to a son named Jesus. But this wasn’t going to be just any child!
He would be called the Son of the Highest, He would be given the throne of David, and His kingdom would have no end (Luke 1:31–33).
That’s quite a promise to receive, isn’t it?
And Mary’s response?
“Let it be to me according to your word.” — Luke 1:38 (NKJV)
Then, after Jesus was born, along came the shepherds, telling Mary and Joseph what the angels had announced to them. A Saviour had been born, who was Christ the Lord (Luke 2:10–17).
And that’s when we read that Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.
But it didn’t stop there.
When Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the temple, Simeon recognised Him as God’s salvation. Yet he also told Mary that a sword would pierce her own soul (Luke 2:25–35).
Now, I wonder how much of that she actually understood at the time.
Years later, when Jesus was twelve, Mary and Joseph found Him in the temple after searching for Him. Jesus spoke about His Father’s business, but they didn’t understand what He meant.
And once again, Scripture tells us that Mary kept these things in her heart (Luke 2:41–51).
There she was again, holding on to those words.
Is this the moment?
Now think about this.
Mary had been given these extraordinary words about her son. She knew who He was, yet she still had to watch Him grow up like any other child.
I wonder how many times she looked at Him and thought, Is this it? Is this going to be the moment? Is this when He’s going to reveal who He is? Is this when He’s going to begin doing what was spoken about Him?
Imagine watching Him grow, year after year, knowing what had been promised but not knowing when or how it would all unfold.
And I wonder whether every new moment brought another question.
Is this it? Is this the beginning? Is this what we’ve been waiting for?
Because isn’t that what we do?
We receive a promise, we believe it, and then we start looking for it.
Something happens and we think, Oh, perhaps this is it!
Then it doesn’t happen.
So we wait a little longer.
And then something else happens, and our expectations rise again.
Surely this time?
But still nothing.
And sometimes, after years of waiting, we begin wondering whether we’ve misunderstood something, whether we’ve missed the moment, or whether it’s ever going to happen at all.
Jesus was around thirty when He began His public ministry. Mary had carried those words in her heart for approximately thirty years.
And then came the wedding at Cana.
When the wine ran out, Mary turned to Jesus and told Him about the problem. And despite His response that His hour had not yet come, she turned to the servants and said:
“Whatever He says to you, do it.” — John 2:5 (NKJV)
Now that’s faith in action!
She didn’t know exactly what He was going to do, but she knew who He was. She recognised the need, brought it to Him and instructed the servants to obey Him.
But here’s another thing.
Sometimes the fulfilment of a promise doesn’t look anything like we imagined.
Mary had been told that her son would reign and that His kingdom would have no end. Yet she also stood near the cross and watched Him suffer.
Can you imagine that?
The very son she’d been promised, the one she’d carried, raised and loved, now hanging on a cross.
And remember what Simeon had told her? That a sword would pierce her own soul.
The fulfilment of God’s purposes wasn’t without pain.
And sometimes, even when God is working something out, the journey can be painful as well as wonderful.
What promise are you waiting for?
So let me ask you something.
What promise have you been given?
Are you discouraged? Are you seriously wondering whether it’s ever going to happen? Have you reached the point where you’re thinking about giving up?
Because let me encourage you.
Things don’t always happen in our timing. And just because something hasn’t happened yet doesn’t automatically mean God has forgotten what He’s spoken.
Look at Abraham.
God promised him a son, but the years went by and still nothing. Eventually, Sarah suggested that Abraham have a child through Hagar, and Abraham agreed (Genesis 16).
They tried to make something happen themselves.
And don’t we sometimes do exactly that?
We get tired of waiting and start trying to work everything out ourselves.
But Isaac came in God’s appointed time.
And then there were those in Hebrews 11 who died in faith without seeing the complete fulfilment of what God had promised.
Not everyone’s journey looked the same.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
Hang on a minute! Didn’t she just tell us not to compare ourselves with other people? And here she is, going on about everyone else’s journey in the Bible!
Well, yes, I know!
But have you noticed the difference?
We’re not looking at their lives to make ourselves feel inadequate or to measure how far behind we think we are.
We’re looking at what God did in their lives to encourage ourselves in ours!
There’s a big difference between looking at someone else’s journey and thinking, Well, they’ve achieved all that and I haven’t. What’s wrong with me? and looking at it and thinking, Wow! Look what God did for them. If He was faithful to them, I can trust Him to be faithful to me too!
Romans 15:4 reminds us that the things written before were written for our learning, so that through the Scriptures we might have patience, comfort and hope.
Other people’s testimonies should encourage our faith, not become another measuring stick to beat ourselves with!
I’ve had to learn this myself
For years, I believed God had promised me that I would get married.
Now, I know marriage isn’t a promise given to everyone. Paul speaks about singleness as a calling too (1 Corinthians 7).
But on several occasions, I’d been encouraged that singleness wasn’t what God had for me, and that He was preparing the right person at the right time.
People would often say to me, “You need to get yourself right before you get married.”
But is that necessarily true?
I sincerely believe that had I married at a much younger age, my insecurities could have ruined it. I was so afraid of rejection that I think I would have struggled enormously.
And I believe God knew that.
I’d struggled with alcohol misuse, with my self-worth and with believing I was good enough.
But that doesn’t mean I had to have everything sorted out before getting married. Far from it!
I needed to allow God to work on those insecurities to a point where I could enter a marriage and continue growing within it.
Because let’s face it, getting married doesn’t suddenly make all your problems disappear!
You don’t walk down the aisle, say “I do”, and suddenly become a completely different person.
You’re still you, with all your quirks, insecurities and things that need working on. Only now, you’re learning to work through some of those things with someone else.
And God continues working on both of you.
But something else changed in my life.
I stopped making marriage the thing I was chasing and started seeking God’s kingdom first. Funnily enough, I had actually become so free and so content with being single that I almost missed the fact that my best friend of six months was the very person God had put right in front of me. And I couldn’t have picked better
People often would say to me, “It’ll happen to you when you stop looking for it.”
I used to tell them that was a cop-out phrase married happy people said!
Now I can’t say they were right in every instance, but they were certainly right in mine.
It wasn’t as though I thought “Right let’s seek God’s Kingdom first instead, then I’ll get married.”
I just got so fired up with what God had done in my life that I wasn’t even thinking of marriage.
I’d reached a point where I could genuinely say to the Lord. “Ok well, this is awesome Jesus, You’re enough for me.”
Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.
And in time, I did get married.
Not because I’d suddenly become perfect, but because God had been working in my life, and that work continues today.
I’ve also had to learn to stop believing things other people had spoken over me.
I was told I wouldn’t make it academically.
Yet I went on to get a degree!
But it wasn’t until I stopped trying to achieve things to please my parents and started putting my trust in God, doing it for Him, that things began to change.
And when I’ve struggled with feeling inadequate, I’ve looked at people like Gideon.
Gideon saw himself as the least in his father’s house, from the weakest clan in Manasseh (Judges 6:15). Yet God called him a mighty man of valour!
Then there’s Moses, who questioned his ability to speak and lead, yet God still called him.
And Joseph!
Well, Joseph was a bit of a pompous so-and-so when he was younger, wasn’t he? At least that’s how he can come across when you read about him telling everyone his dreams!
But look at what he went through before those dreams began to come to pass.
Betrayal, slavery, false accusations and imprisonment.
His circumstances certainly didn’t look much like the promise!
And that’s the point I’m making.
We all have different personalities, different struggles and different journeys. I’m not saying everyone’s circumstances are the same, but quite often, when we’re struggling with something, we can find someone in Scripture who faced something similar.
Not so we can compare ourselves and feel worse.
But so we can see how God worked in their lives and be encouraged that He can work in ours too.
Because the same God who was faithful to them is faithful today.
And the funny thing is, when we think we’re ready, we’re often not. Yet when we feel completely unprepared, that’s often when God tells us to go!
Look at Moses. He certainly didn’t think he was ready! He had every excuse under the sun, including his inability to speak well. Yet God still called him.
We don’t have to be perfect or have everything figured out before we step out in faith. We just have to be willing to obey and allow God to continue working in us along the way.
Because the journey doesn’t end when the promise comes to pass. In many ways, it’s only just beginning!
But what if you’ve never received a promise?
Perhaps you’re reading this and thinking, Well, that’s all very well, but I haven’t even been given a promise!
And perhaps you’re wondering why.
Why has someone else received a prophetic word and you haven’t? Is there something wrong with you? Has God forgotten about you?
Absolutely not!
Because here’s something we mustn’t forget.
We have already been given the greatest promise of all through Jesus Christ.
Those who came before Christ were looking forward to the promised Messiah. They were waiting for what God had spoken to be fulfilled.
But we’re living on the other side of the cross!
Jesus has come. He’s died. He’s risen again.
Salvation has been made available to us through Him (Ephesians 2:8–9).
Isaiah 53:5 speaks of healing through His wounds, and 1 Peter 2:24 declares that by His stripes we were healed.
And Philippians 1:6 tells us that He who began a good work in us will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.
Isaiah 55:11 reminds us that God’s Word will not return to Him void, but will accomplish what He pleases and fulfil the purpose for which He sent it.
So even if you’ve never received a personal prophetic word, you haven’t been left without God’s promises.
They’re right there in His Word.
And this is where we need to change what we’re looking at.
Rather than constantly measuring our lives against what other people have achieved, what if we started weighing up our circumstances against what God has already spoken?
What if, instead of focusing on everything that hasn’t happened, we started remembering everything that already has?
Jesus Himself declared:
“It is finished!” — John 19:30 (NKJV)
And Hebrews 10:12 tells us that after offering one sacrifice for sins forever, He sat down at the right hand of God.
He sat down!
Not because He’d given up, but because His sacrificial work was complete.
We aren’t waiting for Jesus to go back to the cross. He’s already accomplished what was necessary for our salvation.
And now we have His Word to stand on.
That doesn’t mean every personal expectation will happen exactly as we imagine, or that everything will happen immediately. But it does mean we can trust what God has truly promised.
And we have a part to play in that.
We can believe His Word, speak it, act on it and allow it to renew our minds.
Remember what He’s already done
David encouraged himself in the Lord when everything seemed to be falling apart (1 Samuel 30:6).
And we can do that too.
We can go back to God’s Word. We can remind ourselves of what He’s already done, what He’s promised through Jesus Christ and how He’s been faithful to us over the years.
Because sometimes we become so focused on what hasn’t happened that we forget everything that already has.
And perhaps that’s why remembering is so important.
Think about the Israelites and the Passover.
God instructed them to remember how He had delivered them from Egypt. The blood on the doorposts, their deliverance and the freedom He brought them into weren’t things they were supposed to forget.
They were to remember and tell future generations what God had done.
And shouldn’t we be doing the same?
Looking back, not to dwell on our disappointments or measure ourselves against the past, but to remember God’s faithfulness.
To remind ourselves that the same God who was faithful then is faithful now.
And there’s one more question I think we need to ask ourselves.
When we’re believing for a promise, whose glory are we actually seeking?
Is it about what we want to achieve, what we want people to see, or how successful we want our lives to look?
Or is it ultimately about glorifying our Saviour?
Because surely that’s what matters most.
One little word
And to think, all of this came from one little verse about Mary pondering things in her heart!
How many times do we read something in the Bible and just skim over it, thinking there’s not much to it?
I know I’ve done it!
Yet here we are, looking at one word, pondered, and discovering just how much there is to think about.
And perhaps that’s something else we can learn from Mary.
Sometimes we need to stop, take time with God’s Word and really consider what He’s saying, rather than rushing on to the next verse.
Because you never know what you might discover when you take the time to ponder.
And perhaps, while you’re waiting for the next promise to be fulfilled, God has something to show you in the words He’s already spoken.
We musn’t become so focused on what hasn’t happened that we forget what God has already done.
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