Tag: faith

  • That’s Not My Name…

    Most of us like to think there’s something unique about us. And there is. Even those of us who say we don’t care about standing out — we still have that one thing. That thing that’s ours.

    For me, my name is the first thing I don’t like people getting wrong. It sets the precedent.

    Now before we go any further — it’s Samantha. Not Sam. And I can already hear some of you going — “Hang on, your name on here is Sammi Joe but you’re telling us your name is Samantha? Make your mind up!” Fair. I’ll come back to that. 😄

    And yes, I know what you’re thinking. What’s the big deal? Sam, Samantha — same thing, right?

    Wrong. And it gets worse. Because it’s somehow even more galling when it happens in a full name context — first name AND surname together. That’s supposed to be your proper, formal name. The grown up version. So to still reach for Sam at that point? Sam Jones instead of Samantha Jones? You had the right format and still got it wrong. That takes a special kind of commitment to laziness. Jones is my married name by the way — but the point stands whatever name I’m carrying.

    And don’t even get me started on a register or a formal document. Your full proper name is right there in black and white and someone STILL shortens it? That one really gets me.

    I should probably warn you at this point — I have two things that bypass all my usual politeness very quickly. Eating sounds. And being called Sam. I’m a fairly calm person generally, but catch me on either of those and all bets are off. If anyone puts Sam Jones on my grave, my spirit will not be at peace. Biblically incorrect as that may be.

    But first, let me tell you about the time I went to the doctor.

    He came out into the waiting room, looked at his list — my full name right there in front of him — and called out “Sam Rumble?” Rumble being my maiden name at the time.

    I looked up at him and said, completely deadpan — “Oh, is that what it says on the name register?”

    He went rather sheepish.

    “Samantha Rumble?” he said. In a question tone. Like he wasn’t quite sure he was allowed.

    “That’s better.”

    You should have seen his face. I’m still not sure if it was fear or inner annoyance at the patient who had the audacity. But I’m a doctor’s daughter. I had the confidence. I used it. No regrets. 😄

    It’s Only Two More Syllables

    I mean, come on. AN-THA. That’s all I’m asking. Two extra syllables. We’re not learning Mandarin here. If you genuinely, truly cannot stretch to the full Samantha — then Sammi Joe works. Sammi with an I by the way, not a Y. I have my reasons. We all want to be a little unique, don’t we?

    But not Sam. Never just Sam.

    And honestly? I could call myself Sammi General and people would STILL find a way to call me Sam. I rest my case.

    Sam Was Someone Else

    Here’s the real reason.

    Sam was the name I went by when I was a different person. Insecure. Making choices I’m not proud of. Living in a way that wasn’t aligned with who I was created to be. Sam wasn’t a bad person — but Sam was lost, and Sam was hurting, and Sam was doing what lost, hurting people do.

    And then God showed up.

    Slowly, steadily, everything changed. The insecurity, the bad decisions, the old patterns — God began to strip them away and replace them with something better. Something more solid. More me.

    And the name I came back to was Samantha.

    Samantha means God heard. And He did. He heard me in the mess, in the noise, in the bad decisions and the quiet desperation. He heard me, He answered, He called me into something new.

    So when someone calls me Sam, it doesn’t just feel like a preference being ignored. It feels like being called back to someone I no longer am. Like being handed an old coat you donated years ago and being told to put it back on. Sam is part of my story — she always will be, and I don’t erase her — but she is not who I am today.

    Samantha is feminine for me. Samantha is chosen. Samantha is heard by God.

    That’s not a small difference.

    And yes, I go by Sammi Joe here. I chose that deliberately. It sits comfortably between the two. Not Sam — never Sam — but not quite ready to put Samantha above the door either. Think of it as the in-between. The journey name. And yes, I see the irony. Also, it seems if it was Samantha, people would definitely more likely change it Sam. Sammi-Joe has less risk. Don’t tell me. You’re tempted to write back and call me Sam now aren’t you, just to spite me?

    And since we’re being pedantic — my full name is actually Samantha Joanne Jones. I wasn’t expecting the doctor to reel all three off, that would just be odd. There are social norms after all. But Samantha. Just Samantha. That’s not too much to ask.

    And if you’re wondering where Sammi Joe actually comes from — well. Samantha Joanne Jones. There it is. It was never random. It was always me, just in a different order.

    Why Do I Keep Mentioning God?

    You might be wondering why God keeps showing up in a post about what people call me. Fair question.

    But for me the two are inseparable. He created me. He chose me. He changed me — with purpose. My name isn’t just a preference, it’s part of that story. And if you’ve landed here and had a look at my About Me page, you’ll already know that faith is woven into everything I write. So He was always going to show up.

    And actually, names and identity are all over scripture. Which brings me to some people who might have felt exactly like I did in that waiting room.

    You’re Not The First Person This Happened To

    God has always taken names seriously. Some of the most significant moments in a person’s journey with God are marked by a name change.

    Take Abram. Faithful, but waiting. Holding onto a promise he couldn’t yet see. And then God meets him and changes his name to Abraham — father of many nations — before he had even seen the fulfilment of what was promised. The name came before the reality. God called him into his future before it arrived.

    Then there’s Jacob. Now Jacob is a fascinating one. His very name meant deceiver — and he lived up to it. He was a schemer, a manipulator, a man who got what he wanted through cunning rather than integrity. But then he had that extraordinary night of wrestling with God, and when morning came, he walked away with a limp and a new name. Israel. One who wrestles with God. Same man, completely different identity.

    Can you imagine, after that, someone strolling up and calling him Jacob? Like nothing had happened? Like he was still the deceiver? I imagine it would have stung in a way that’s hard to articulate. Not just rude — but a denial of everything God had done in him.

    (And if your name is Jacob — I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re lovely. Not all Jacobs are deceivers. Probably.) 😄

    And then there’s Simon. Impulsive, emotional, the one who put his foot in his mouth almost as often as he said something profound. Jesus looked at him and called him Peter — the rock— even before Simon had become anything like a rock. It was a prophetic name. A calling. Jesus wasn’t describing who Simon was — He was declaring who Simon would become. And not just any rock — the foundation on which the entire church would be built. Imagine being given that name. Imagine carrying that calling. Every time someone called him Peter, they were speaking his destiny over him whether they knew it or not.

    Names, in God’s economy, are not throwaway labels. They carry identity. They carry destiny. They carry testimony.

    It Works Both Ways

    I want to tell you about my husband Gareth.

    Gareth means God’s gentle man. And I’m not being biased when I say he absolutely lives up to it — plenty of other people have said the same. He’s six foot tall, and yet there is this quality about him. A gentleness. A kindness. An approachability that just oozes out of him. You feel at ease around him immediately.

    Now, he might argue that his behaviour didn’t always match that. That before God changed him, he wasn’t always living up to the name he was carrying. But here’s what I’d say — you could always see it in him. It was always there. In his eyes, in his presence, in the way people were drawn to him even then. The gentleness was written into him. God just brought the behaviour into line with what was already there.

    And that’s the thing — God works both ways.

    For me, Samantha was always my name. It was always there. But I spent years behaving like Sam — the lost, insecure version — until God called me back to who I was always meant to be. I had to grow back into my name.

    For Gareth, the name always fitted. But he had to grow into it. To become in behaviour what he already was in identity.

    Same God. Same intentionality. Different directions. He just has this way of making the person match the name, or the name match the person, whichever way around it needs to go.

    And then there’s Zebedee. My dog. Named after the father of James and John in scripture — a perfectly respectable biblical name. Except he has absolutely no interest in living up to it. He is, without question, the Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout. All bounce, no dignity whatsoever. He also seems to prefer Zeb. I can’t even win with the dog. 😂🙈

    And Then There Are The Karens

    Can we just take a moment for the Karens?

    I genuinely feel sorry for every woman named Karen who went to bed one night with a perfectly lovely name and woke up to find it had become internet slang for someone demanding, entitled, and permanently ready to speak to the manager.

    Here’s the thing though. Karen, in its biblical roots, carries a meaning that couldn’t be further from that cultural caricature. It speaks of strength, power, and purification. Now I’ll grant you — if you squint hard enough, power might go some way to explaining the manager situation. 😄 But strength and purification? That’s not someone demanding a refund. That’s someone with real weight and dignity behind their name.

    So if your name is Karen — or if you carry any name that the world has decided to redefine, mock, or dismiss — can I just say this: the world does not get the final word on what your name means. Culture is loud, the internet is louder, but neither of them are the authority on your identity.

    Which, actually, is the whole point of this post.

    Names Mean Something

    Whether it’s God renaming someone in scripture, a woman choosing what she wants to be called, or the internet hijacking a perfectly good name — there is always meaning attached. Always identity attached.

    And if you still think names are just labels, consider this — why do people spend years, sometimes a lifetime, tracing their family tree? Why does someone who was adopted feel that deep pull to find out their original surname, their heritage, where they came from? It’s not just curiosity. It’s because something in us knows that a name carries more than letters. It carries belonging. History. Identity. God wired that into us whether we realise it or not.

    You see it all through scripture too. Matthew opens his gospel with a genealogy — a long list of names tracing the family line of Jesus all the way back through the tribes of Israel to Abraham. Luke takes it even further, all the way back to Adam. And I’ll be honest with you — the first time I read it, I thought, seriously, God? Every single name? It felt like the most skippable passage in the Bible.

    But then something stopped me. It was almost as if I felt Him say — would you like me to forget your name? Would you like your story left out? Because that’s what those lists are. They’re not filler. They’re not boring admin. Every name in that genealogy is a real person, a real story, part of the unfolding of His Story. Every single one mattered enough to be recorded. And if He kept track of every name in a bloodline stretching back thousands of years, do you really think yours doesn’t matter to Him?

    And then there’s the woman in the gospels with the issue of blood. She’s never named. Not once. The crowd didn’t notice her, and scripture doesn’t record her name. But Jesus stopped. In the middle of a crowd, He stopped for her. He saw her. He knew her. Her name might not be written in the text — but it was known by Him. And that’s the point. You don’t have to be famous, or recorded, or remembered by the world. If He knows your name, that’s enough.

    Your name can hold your history. It can hold your testimony. It can hold the distance you have travelled from who you once were. And if someone has told you their full, chosen, preferred name, the most respectful thing you can do is use it. Not because they’re being oversensitive. But because identity matters. And the journey a person has taken to arrive at who they are today deserves to be honoured — not casually abbreviated.

    A Question For You

    Do you know what your name means? Where it comes from? Not every name has a direct biblical reference — and that’s fine — but most names have a root, an origin, a story behind them somewhere. It might surprise you. And even if the meaning feels like it has nothing to do with who you are, maybe that’s its own interesting question worth sitting with.

    And whether the meaning resonates or not, here is the bigger question:

    Has God ever spoken a new identity over you? A new way of seeing yourself that replaced the old story you used to carry? A sense that who you were is not the final version of who you are?

    Because that is what He does. He did it for Abram. He did it for Jacob. He did it for Simon and He did it for me.

    If He’s done it for you too — I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

    Your name is not just a label. It’s a story. Make sure you’re living from the right chapter.

  • It’s Just a Dorito. And Yet.

    There is a sound that can ruin my entire day. Yours probably wouldn’t even register it.

    I have misophonia.

    Which sounds dramatic until you realise it just means that certain sounds — specifically other people eating, clanging, repetitive tapping, or basically existing loudly near me — make me want to quietly leave my own life for a moment.

    It’s not a mood. It’s not me being difficult. It is, apparently, an actual neurological thing, which is both validating and completely useless when someone sits next to you with a bag of crisps.

    Now, I should clarify — I am not naturally a patient person. Patience is one of those fruits of the Holy Spirit that God is very much still working on in me. It is a process. A long one. And situations like these are not helping.

    Everything can be completely calm.

    Peaceful, even.

    The kind of quiet where nothing feels rushed and everything just… settles.

    You’re watching something nice.

    Or sitting somewhere quiet.

    Or just existing without any particular issue.

    And then someone starts eating.

    It’s not gradual.

    There’s no gentle build-up.

    It’s like something in your brain just switches.

    Suddenly, you can’t concentrate on anything else.

    Not the film.

    Not the conversation.

    Not even your own thoughts.

    Not Just… crunching, lips smacking or like your food is doing the world tour in your mouth before swallowing. My Dad does that and at these times, our relationship level is at best, questionable! In fact every relationship is.

    And it’s not just “a bit annoying.”

    That would be manageable.

    This is the kind of irritation that feels completely disproportionate and yet — at the exact same time — entirely justified.

    You become hyper-aware.

    Why is it so loud?

    Why is it that loud?

    Has it always sounded like that?

    Surely it hasn’t always sounded like that.

    And the worst part?

    You know it’s irrational.

    You are fully aware that this is a completely normal human activity.

    People eat.

    They’re allowed to eat.

    They’re not doing anything wrong.

    And yet internally, you have transformed into something that could only be described as a mildly restrained rage monster.

    I don’t say anything. Usually.

    Out loud, I remain civil — right up until the point where my nervous system decides that civility is no longer a viable option.

    At which point, all bets are off.

    (See: the Doritos incident.)

    But internally, even on the quieter days, there is a whole negotiation happening between

    “be a reasonable person”

    and

    “please, for the love of all that is good, stop chewing like that.”

    The worst example of this happened in a library.

    A library. The internationally recognised sanctuary of silence. The operating theatre of academic thought.

    I was studying for my dissertation. This required, at minimum, the kind of quiet usually reserved for lunar surfaces and very serious doctors.

    And then the man next to me opened a bag of Doritos.

    Doritos.

    I turned and looked at him. If you have misophonia, you will know exactly what that look is. It is not aggressive. It is not rude. It is simply a look that communicates, without any words at all, the complete and total collapse of your inner world.

    He saw the look. He acknowledged the look.

    And then he continued eating.

    So I leaned over and said — very calmly —

    “Doritos?!”

    And then: “What is this, a picnic?!”

    He stopped eating.

    What makes it even more ridiculous is this:

    If I am eating at the same time… it’s absolutely fine.

    No issue at all.

    Apparently, the solution to the problem is simply that I must also be involved in the eating.

    Which, as Blod once pointed out, feels somewhat unfair.

    “So it’s fine if you eat, but not if I do?”

    Correct.

    That is, unfortunately, exactly how it works.

    I didn’t design it. I just live with it.

    You know who can eat without triggering my internal meltdown though?

    My dog Zeb

    Zeb, who eats like he’s in a competition and the prize is making as much noise as humanly-

    or should I say, caninely-possible.

    Completely fine. Not a flicker of rage. Not a single twitch.

    I have no explanation for this. My nervous system apparently has a “dog clause” built in somewhere that nobody told me about.

    Blod finds this fascinating. I on the other hand would find it deeply personally offensive.

    Blod made a quiet and life-altering decision early on in our relationship — that eating crisps during a film was perhaps not worth the consequences.

    This was during the dating phase.

    The fact that he still married me after witnessing the look in its natural habitat is something I find both touching and mildly surprising.

    Occasionally, he forgets.

    Hunger, I suppose, does something to a person’s memory.

    And then he remembers again — usually around the time I’ve gone very quiet, or started pressing Blu-tack into my ears with the focused calm of someone who is absolutely not calm.

    That is love, actually. Documented and real.

    It’s not limited to eating, either.

    Clanging. Repetitive tapping. Someone doing the same small sound over and over in a place that’s supposed to be quiet.

    It all qualifies.

    Which is why I cannot attend church connect groups when food is involved.

    I have tried.

    I become a version of myself that I don’t particularly enjoy. Internally unravelling while outwardly attempting to look like someone who is fine and engaged and not at all being destroyed by the sound of someone’s wrap.

    It is exhausting.

    And then there are the people who don’t quite understand it.

    “It’s only crisps.”

    Yes.

    I know.

    Logically, I am aware that it is only crisps.

    Unfortunately, my nervous system appears to have interpreted it as something far more serious.

    The strangest part is how instant it is.

    One moment: a calm, relaxed, reasonable human being.

    Next moment: internally calculating how quickly you can leave the situation without drawing attention to yourself.

    It’s not a personality flaw.

    It’s not even really a preference.

    It’s more like a very specific, slightly inconvenient wiring issue that occasionally turns something completely normal into something… not quite so manageable.

    So if you ever notice someone go very quiet the moment you open a snack…

    Or reach for earplugs — or Blu-tack, we’re not fussy — with the quiet focus of someone defusing a bomb…

    Or suddenly remember they urgently need to be in a different room…

    Be kind to them or run. Either works.

    Maybe even offer them some of your food.

    We realise this is not exactly preferable.

    Especially if it’s soup.

    But we didn’t choose this. We are doing our best to avoid incarceration.

  • ✨ When Delay Becomes Direction ✨

    It was a Friday afternoon.

    Nothing dramatic.

    Nothing unusual.

    Just the clock ticking while my mind tried to hold too many things at once.

    I was halfway through client calls, trying to hold work in one hand and the rest of my life in the other. My brain was busy, stretched, already carrying more than it should. My husband had tried earlier to squeeze in a quick conversation about our property plans — not because he was being pushy, but because we were both juggling so much that neither of us quite knew where the right space was anymore.

    Working from home makes me more “reachable,” and sometimes that blurs the lines. I wasn’t unavailable because I didn’t care; I was simply in work mode, mid-responsibility, mid-pressure. And he wasn’t being demanding — he was trying to find a moment where we could connect about the dreams we both share.

    Two people with big visions.

    Both stretched.

    Both trying.

    Meanwhile, Zeb was staring at us like, “Cool story. Is my dinner happening or not?”

    And then something simple cut through the noise.

    It wasn’t dramatic.

    It wasn’t angry.

    Just honest.

    It wasn’t the message itself that shifted me — it was what it exposed.

    He shared that he didn’t feel fully connected to the journey. That he needed to know we were walking it together.

    And I understood it.

    But beneath that moment was something deeper that had already been stirring.

    For weeks, I’d been trying to move something forward — a project that had come to me so easily at first. The name had flowed. The idea had felt clear, almost effortless. That felt like God.

    But the momentum since then?

    That felt different.

    Every step forward felt heavier than it should.

    Not locked. Not slammed shut.

    Just… unmoving.

    And that frustrated me more than I wanted to admit.

    I wrestled with it quietly.

    Was this resistance because I was meant to push through?

    Or was it resistance because I was pushing something that wasn’t meant for now?

    There’s a difference — but in the moment, it’s hard to tell.

    Part of me wondered if I was being tested.

    Part of me wondered if I was being redirected.

    Part of me feared I was falling behind.

    And if I’m honest, I felt a little alone in it too — trying to manufacture momentum in my own strength because I thought that’s what progress was supposed to look like.

    But as I sat there, instead of defending my position, I paused.

    Not emotionally.

    Not reactively.

    But intentionally.

    What was actually happening here?

    The truth was simple:

    It wasn’t moving.

    And faith doesn’t ignore reality.

    It weighs it.

    If God was breathing on this right now, would it feel like I was dragging it uphill alone?

    I didn’t need to quit the dream.

    But maybe I did need to stop dragging it forward before its time.

    Because sometimes delay isn’t denial.

    Sometimes it’s direction.

    So I made a decision.

    A clear one.

    A grounded one.

    I chose to stop forcing something that wasn’t moving.

    And I chose something else too.

    I chose us.

    Not because one of us was doing more than the other — we’ve both been building, both investing, both stretching in different ways. But because I wanted to demonstrate, in a tangible way, that we are a team. That I am for him. That what we’re building is something we’re building together.

    Not separate visions competing for oxygen.

    But shared direction, aligned.

    Not by sacrificing a dream.

    But by recognising the season.

    And that shift changed everything.

    At our deal packaging training, the coach shared her “why” — showing the house she bought because of property. Her stepping stone. And something inside me lit up.

    A country home.

    My country home.

    A dream I hadn’t abandoned — just quietly shelved somewhere along the way. Somewhere between striving and trying to prove I could build something on my own timeline.

    And I realised something gently but deeply:

    When I stopped obsessing over the door that wasn’t opening, I could see the direction right in front of me.

    This doesn’t mean the other dream has vanished. It hasn’t. It came in flow for a reason. But the timing isn’t mine to force.

    I can still nurture it quietly.

    I can still hold it loosely.

    I just don’t need to push it.

    Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do

    is pause long enough to recognise the difference

    between resistance that requires faith

    and delay that requires wisdom.

    This wasn’t the end of a dream.

    It was simply the moment delay clarified the direction.

    We became aligned again.

    The tension eased.

    The pressure lifted.

    And peace replaced striving.

    For now,

    I’m choosing clarity.

    I’m choosing unity.

    I’m choosing what’s moving — not what I’m trying to move.

    And honestly?

    It feels right.

  • Five Hours Later: It’s a Tech Thing

     I started a reel ad on Canva.

    (Not an advert for Canva. Me and tech are currently in a trial separation.)

    I mean — how hard can it be?

    Image. Music. Words. Colours.

    This is not brain surgery. Though if it was, I’d still appreciate a manual.

    Five and a half hours later I’ve lost audio, lost synchronisation, watched one page delete the next, and discovered that my AI assistant needs more assistance than I thought I needed.

    I am now questioning my life choices, my calling, and whether I should live off-grid with no Wi-Fi and a typewriter.

    I remember during my degree saying,

    “Is it just me, or is no one else completely panicking about this?”

    Tabitha smiled and said,

    “No, Samantha. We’re all panicking.”

    “You just… do a very good job of expressing it for us.”

    I feel like Rose in Titanic:

    “It’s been 85 years… and I can still see the cog spinning.”

    This is the mess in the middle.

    The bit no one posts. The bit where you’re trying very hard to be a grown adult while also internally bracing yourself and wondering how something so small has taken over your entire day.

    I remember why I’m doing this — which is the only reason I’m still here, pressing on to the promise that I will become all He created me to be.

    So what if the current version of me looks like a sleep-deprived raccoon with a thousand-yard stare, waiting for the computer to respond? I’ll just blend in. Perfectly normal behaviour.

    There’s a gap between who I’m called to be and who I am when technology stops cooperating.

    I do the things I don’t want to do and don’t do the things I know I should, like remaining calm, emotionally regulated, or particularly dignified.

    I didn’t avoid tech because I couldn’t learn it.

    I avoided it because it reveals things about me I’d rather not meet unsupervised.

    Zeb now has that look that says, “I love you… but I’m not getting involved.”

    It’s a fight between “what if I’m not good enough?”

    and “get a grip — you cannot let fear win over a reel.”

    I keep going anyway.

    Not because I’m calm —

    but because I remember why I started.

    I started this because I wanted to create moments — space for others to pause, reflect, and be present. A small, intentional place for a meaningful moment, wherever that happens to be.

    I created the blog to let the creativity in me breathe, and to connect — honestly — with others along the way.

    I created it without needing to define exactly what it will become, trusting it to grow into whatever it’s meant to be, in obedience to the calling placed on my life.

    Of course, the flesh had opinions.

    So, in perfect obtuseness, I did it anyway — my inner critic can remain unelected.

    The journal that came out of this season is here, if you’d like to take a look: here

  • A Year of Love, Chaos and Unscripted Interruptions

    A candid photo of me and my husband Blod,  smiling together.

    This year was my first year of marriage — marriage itself has been a gift, even if the year wasted no time throwing everything else at us.

    My husband, who I usually call Blod, it should be said, handled it like an absolute legend — in the sense that you’d like to believe people do,

    after weeks of that strange New Year build-up where everyone keeps asking what you’re looking forward to,

    whether you’ve got plans, and gently implying that something excellent is about to happen.

    Don’t get me wrong, I understand why we do it —

    hope matters, and it does arrive in many different forms.

    Good things do come.

    Growth comes.

    Unexpected kindness comes.

    But there is still something quietly absurd about how we repeat the same ritual every year: gathering round a countdown, making declarations of health, happiness, and fresh starts,

    and acting genuinely surprised when life doesn’t follow the script exactly as imagined;

    Only to be met almost immediately with a very emphatic reminder that life doesn’t consult your expectations

    before making its entrance.

    Instead, it turns up like a well-meaning but slightly intrusive relative, interrupting the conversation mid-sentence and asking,

    “Chickenpox, anyone?”

    Blod got it.

    Not the polite, childhood version — the full adult edition. The sort that looks unnecessarily dramatic and teaches you very quickly what “in sickness” actually means.

    I learned how to care properly, have a few quietly unhinged moments of panic (mostly kept to myself), and discovered that Googling symptoms at 2am is never a neutral activity.

    At first, we were convinced it was an allergic reaction to my lemon shower gel — which he is actually allergic to.

    The shower gel was immediately thrown out, obviously.

    We even ended up in A&E;, fully prepared to explain our theory, only to find out that no, it wasn’t the shower gel at all.

    It was chickenpox.

    Proper chickenpox.

    An unnecessarily dramatic opening act to the year.

    And that was how the year introduced itself.

    (Understandably, the lemon shower gel was sacrificed. However, please respect the grief of Lemon Source shower gel. It had no warning of such a brief goodbye after all its years of service. We had plans!)

    Not long after that, we felt led to move on from our church. There was no drama and no blame — just a clear sense that the season had changed.

    The church family I was part of in Norwich, before I met Blod, are still very much home to me.

    They saw me grow through singleness and into marriage, and they’ve been nothing but warm, accepting, and encouraging of Blod and me together.

    Their prayers, support, and steady presence have continued from a distance, and they’ve been a genuine source of strength this year.

    Since then, we’ve been walking through a season of trusting God without neat answers.

    Letting go of what I thought things were supposed to look like has been uncomfortable but necessary.

    Staying grounded in faith while variables shift, standing on God’s Word when clarity hasn’t yet arrived — that’s been real faith this year.

    Then we got chickens.

    Then — because apparently we enjoy escalation — we got a dog.

    The garden did not survive.

    There was one moment that perfectly summed up this season:

    Blod accidentally dropped a KFC chip on the floor.

    What followed can only be described as a full Benny Hill–style chase scene, with chickens sprinting incircles, flapping wildly, chasing each other with complete commitment over one stolen chip.

    I stood there watching, laughing, and quietly accepting that this was now my life.

    My marriage to Blod has been one of the most grounding and joyful parts of the year. It’s full of affection, laughter, and genuine friendship.

    After years of mistrust in relationships, I’ve been learning how to manage conflict without immediately fearing rejection.

    We’re human, flawed, and learning to fully become one— but learning together, which makes all the difference.

    Also, Blod is an elite-level sleep talker.

    Not the mumbling kind. The confident, articulate, fully conversational kind.

    I’ve been given instructions, asked questions, and informed of urgent matters in the middle of the night — all delivered with absolute conviction.

    He remembers none of it.

    I unfortunately for him,

    remember all of it.

    I find this endlessly entertaining.

    He remains blissfully unaware.

    Marriage comes with perks.

    Our dog Zeb, meanwhile, has absolutely no understanding of personal space.

    None whatsoever.

    Hi, I live here now. This is my face.

    However, he is learning calmness — roughly one minute at a time. Progress is still progress.

    Running underneath everything this year has been a quiet, persistent discomfort — the knowing that there is more than our jobs.

    Knowing what God has spoken over your life, yet not seeing the when or the how, can be deeply frustrating.

    But Scripture reminds us:

    “Though the vision tarries, wait for it; it will surely come.”

    In November, Blod encouraged me to go to a money-making summit. We both went. I signed up for mentorship with their Inner Circle.

    Later that day, I encouraged Blod to do a property course.

    That’s how we work — he believes in me,

    I believe in him.

    That season is where this blog began — alongside a few other creative ideas that are still finding their feet.

    We are all birthing something, whether we realise it or not.

    Maybe 2025 was the year the concepts were formed.

    Maybe 2026 is the year they’re born.

    For now, this is still unfolding. A little chaotic. Often funny. Deeply meaningful.

    And very much

    Perfectly Unfinished.